Posted by: spickering | March 28, 2007

Message to Self: Get Activated

It’s weird how, when you start doing the right things time seems to slow down. This day seemed to last a whole week, which some may say is bad, but I see it as good, because my experience has been of time flying by so quickly, the months going by like days, the years like weeks. Another thing that happens is all these memories you haven’t thought of in forever come rushing to your mind with such force, it’s like you are re-living them. For instance, it seemed like I relived tonight every event of that wonderful summer of 2000, and it made me joyful, but then it made me sad, because I longed for it again. Back in 2000-2002 it seemed like there were all these wonderful, beautiful people around, things were happening, and it seemed like there was and endless supply of people and events. Creatively I was awakening. I was meditating. I was being healthy and working out. I was touching something, glimpsing something back then. It was a window of opportunity to take life to the next level, and then it was like John Mayer sings, “what makes this man dream of ways to throw it all away?”

Nowadays, I look around and there’s no one. No one is around, nothing is going on. People seemed to have sailed away, and I am alone on a desert island. The roaring 20s and early 30s seemed to have turned into the depression. I don’t do anything. Inertia seems like a horse’s hoof on my chest that I can’t get up from. I had some time to reflect, and I thought back then I was on a path and it was attracting beautiful people into my life. Now, I’m near rock bottom, and so I have repulsed it all away. In that sense it seems so simple: just get back on your program, and you’ll start attracting all that wonderful stuff back in, and what is more, if you do it even better this time, time will slow, or even stand still, and there will be all this bliss all around. Sound like a plan?

Also, even back then, it was like I could decide on nothing. That’s why I couldn’t hold it all together. So now I’m thinking the wisdom, the knowingness is there. I’m just blocked off from it by wrong action. You know, like the Buddha says, “Right Action.” or the Indian saying “Sat, Chith, Ananda” Being, Knowingness, Bliss. It could be that simple. You could have bliss and hold it together, and then just keep getting better. Look, what I believe is this: at this moment I don’t have the answer, but I really believe that the answer will come to me on the other side of activation, initiation. That’s the meaning of initiation in all these rites and myths. The soul has to be activated from this dormant state, then the conduit to the wisdom of the universe opens up, and what comes rushing in to every cell of your body is infinite bliss, consciousness, and being. So reality and mystical, mythical, magical experience marries. That’s the purpose of life, as I see it. “It’s here, it’s here” or “This, not that” as the two Indian sayings go.

So what I’m saying to myself is: Get Yourself Activated. Make that priority one. And I think that can happen in 90 days, 90 days of doing the right thing. I know what is scarring me: those first few days seem gruesome. They seem boring because it’s like you have to focus all your energy on ridding yourself of your addictions. And everything you do seems so connected to those addictions. But what I really believe is that after just 3 days, 72 hours, that gruesomeness will fall away, and you’ll be “into” it as they say. From then on I really do believe the journey itself will be interesting in its own right, will be adventuress. And at the end of the 90 days, after you are activated, you’ll be on your way to living the life of your dreams. You’ll know what you want to do and have the courage and confidence to do it, to commit to it. So what are you waiting for?

As I heard a successful NFL player once say

Whatever you want to do, whatever you want to be, it’s out there.

Or as Joseph Campbell says

You must be prepared to let go of the life you have planned, in order to find the life that is waiting for you.

I will report on the progress of this activation process here everyday.


  1. ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne might be a good book to read or listen to! OK, it’s a bit New Age, and the critics say both good and bad things about the book and the author. But if you read it with a grain of salt, you’ll be OK – The law of attraction and a few very usable tips for every day life will get your spirits up OK!

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